Responding vs Reacting

Hello good afternoon,

Do you ever find yourself wanting to react instantly when you are feeling triggered by someone instead of responding to them in a calm, relaxed and patient manner? To respond effectively is something which takes practice and patience. I am going to be sharing some tips with you regarding ways for you to learn how to be more effective when communicating with people.

TIP ONE: The first thing you could try is to stop and take a few deep breaths. You can begin this before you respond to a person or event in that moment. Take at least three deep breaths.

TIP TWO: Tip two is to become self-aware regarding your current feelings and thoughts that you are having in that current moment. Take the time to stop, think and breathe before you respond.

TIP THREE: Take a look at how you are feeling in your body. Notice if you are beginning to feel triggered. Work on becoming more in tune with your body. Maybe you can work to develop a plan for yourself to cope with your individual triggers. Do you need to spend more time on self-care after having a difficult conversation with someone? Did someone say something hurtful to you? Do you find yourself needing to forgive someone again?

TIP FOUR: Identify your triggers and write them down. This will help you become more aware of the events or people who could potentially trigger you. In time some of your triggers could potentially change.

TIP FIVE: Understand the consequences of your actions when you are going to be responding to someone. When you respond then individuals will understand that you are able to have a conversation without becoming angry or acting irrationally. When I first learned that I have the ability to respond versus react I did not realize that I had a choice. There were so many things that I had to change in order to be able to get into the place to do this.

TIP SIX: If you find yourself becoming angry when you are speaking with someone. Become mindful of how your body is feeling. It is okay to come back to the conversation later... If you feel as if you might react to someone instead of responding, ask the person you are speaking with if you can excuse yourself from the situation (bathroom). You can take the time to cool down and take a few breaths and re balance yourself. Then you can come back and try again and continue the conversation further. You can come back feeling calmer and will be able to respond effectively.

We will not always be able to stay away from our triggers. There will be times when we will have to face our triggers and we must be prepared. I have a few amazing tips which can be helpful for you to cope with being triggered.

Add exercise to your weekly routine. Pay attention and become aware of how you are feeling when you complete your workout. Stop and take the time to focus on yourself while exercising. On the days that I am feeling anxious I will go and exercise for another 30 mins. It may be helpful if you can figure out the time which will be the most beneficial for you to workout. For me I like to have my workout complete before I begin working on work related tasks. You might find yourself wanting to get exercise in the morning before you start the day. Or you might enjoy working out in the evening after your productive day.

Work on becoming grounded in the morning before you begin moving throughout the day. You can work on this when you are journaling and meditating in the morning. Remember that you in control of how you want to move throughout the day.

Have a balanced diet with your favorite fruits, vegetables and drink plenty water throughout the day. We always say we need to drink more water but actually work challenging yourself to do so. You might have to change your relationship with food and water. Be aware of the foods that might make your body feel sluggish or tired after. Become mindful about fueling your body with the foods it is telling you it needs.

Become aware of how much sleep you need. I know the amount of sleep that everyone needs is different. Try to go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time. If you need more tips on this, I can help you with this further in coaching with me. I have plenty of tips that had worked for me as this is something I had struggled with for a long time.

Take a power nap if you find yourself feeling frustrated, anxious, or annoyed. My grandmother taught me this one at a very young age. She noticed when I was younger, I always wanted to try and keep up with everyone. Once she told me it was okay to lay down and take a nap this has become an ongoing routine for me. To this day I will think of her when I am allowing myself to lay down and take a nap to rest.

Notice when you are feeling overwhelmed and notice what your body is trying to tell you. You may need to take some time to slow down, stop and give yourself a few seconds or even minutes to regather yourself.

Sincerely, Saige

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